


The Space Between Us

by cookiemonster615



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cheating, Crying, F/M, Implied Gray/Erza, Infidelity, Insecurity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-30 03:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18307454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookiemonster615/pseuds/cookiemonster615
Summary: "The silence that followed his confession was deafening. He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over once again. He barely choked back another sob, feeling like his heart was being ripped open once again."





	The Space Between Us

He sighed, dropping a light kiss on her forehead before leaning back on the couch, clutching his beer. Juvia frowned, scooting closer to him to lean against his shoulder. “Are you alright?” she spoke up, the troubled look still present on her face.

 

Gray looked up from his drink with glassy eyes and nodded vacantly. “I’m okay.” he said quietly, not facing her. Putting down his beer, he tried to smile, as if to assure her, but it came out like a grimace. Her eyebrows furrowed, frown deepening, proving that she didn’t believe him.

 

Instead of answering her questioning gaze, Gray buried his face in her chest (a habit he had developed over the years) and exhaled shakily. She felt warm and the smell of laundry detergent and lilac brought him a strange sense of comfort. Juvia gently rubbed the back of his hand before intertwining their hands and he could faintly feel leftover chalk dust coating her fingers. Before he knew it, tears were slipping out despite him having his eyes closed. Over the years they had spent together, it had become easier and easier for Gray to show emotion around her and be vulnerable to her.

 

For a while, Juvia just let him cry silently on her,  whispering sweet, soothing nothings in his ear, letting her words wash over him. Afterwards, she gently tugged her hands away and placed them on his shoulders so he would face her. Her eyes told him she was not about to patronize him nor did she demand an explanation. She just let him have his space without overwhelming him so he could sort things out.

 

He sighed, feeling like he owed her an explanation nonetheless. “I slept with Erza”

 

The silence that followed his confession was deafening. He could feel tears pricking at the corners of his eyes, threatening to spill over once again. He barely choked back another sob, feeling like his heart was being ripped open once again. The first time had been the morning after his drunken _mistake_ with Erza lying asleep next to him, dead to the world. He never thought that after he made such a foolish mistake, he would be crying this much. As if he couldn’t control his emotions, as if cheating on his wife had been anyone’s fault but his. Instead of his usual response to grief - anger; tears leaked out of his eyes all too often, like he was a broken faucet. All he wanted to do was punch himself in the face, curl up in a ball, and cry for all of eternity.

  

Gray couldn’t bare to meet Juvia’s eyes once he’d said it, because he knew he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he saw her heartbroken expression. More than anything, he just wanted her to slap him, kick, scream, be **angry** with him. In the back of his mind, he knew she wouldn’t. “Please just say something” he whispered finally, never looking up.

 

“I- I don’t know what to say” she responded, a foreign emotion thick in her voice. He gulped, his chest tightening uncomfortably. Of course, he had screwed up so badly that she was no longer speaking in third person. He willed himself not to let anymore tears fall because he didn’t even deserve the luxury of grieving. He didn’t deserve her.

 

Before she could actually break his heart like he’d broken hers, he rose from the couch and turned away. She grabbed his hand, fingers tightening around his wrist so he couldn’t walk away. He finally let himself meet her eyes, an ocean of blue caught in a storm. His breath hitched in his throat and he almost regretted looking at her face. She almost looked at him disbelievingly, but seeing his own expression, she realized that he was dead serious. She just looked so _betrayed_ so he had to look away once again, the emotion bearing too much weight in his heart.

 

"How could you?” Juvia breathed, her words coming out in a rush. Her voice still held a hint of disbelief, but there was a horrible tremble in her words. Gray took that moment in time as an opportunity to explain himself, an opportunity he probably didn’t deserve.

 

“It was a mistake. I was working the late shift at the bar and it was the week after finals. You were really busy grading papers and stuff.” He flinched at his own weak explanation and how it almost sounded like he was defending himself. Her expression hardened as she glared at him. “Of course that was absolutely no excuse! I just… ” he looked at her pleadingly and her gaze softened a tiny bit.

 

“She offered me a drink around midnight. I was tired and sleepy, but, for some reason, I accepted. I wish I hadn’t” he closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “One drink turned into two, two turned into three, and three turned into too many. After a while, when I was too plastered to think clearly, we walked over to her house a few blocks away and the rest was a blur.”

 

Juvia let herself gasp at the last few words, as if Gray had stabbed her in the heart, and maybe he had. He could barely form coherent words as he saw her break down. She buried her face in her hands and cried. Her tears were not quiet drops, but heavy sobs. When he reached out to touch her, she slapped him away, screaming incoherently.

 

He held his hand, cradling it to his chest. “I can’t even tell you in words how sorry I am. Juvi… ”

 

“Don’t call me that!” She almost shrieked, her voice shaking terribly. She tried to calm herself, taking deep breaths. “Don’t… call me that” she repeated quietly. Her mind was swirling with questions but the most outstanding one was - **why?**

 

In the back of her mind, her insecurities creeped back into her thoughts. They taunted her, telling her about how fat she was, how she was ugly, unworthy of Gray’s love, boring. Of course she would never be good enough because she was the one who followed him around, awkwardly flirted with him non-stop, and clung to him like a middle schooler with a crush. Juvia, who was creepy and couldn’t stop talking and had a strange obsession with the hot bartender who was way out of her league. It was only natural that Gray would go off and find comfort with someone else when she had made his life so miserable and then when he married her, he got tired of her. She didn’t understand why they got married if he was just going to break her heart.

 

She looked down at her hands, trying to focus on them through the blurriness. She noticed the lingering evidence of chalk on her fingers. Gray had been the one to encourage her to follow her dream of being a teacher. The noise that she made was the strangled mix between a sob and a laugh. It was only natural that he gave her one dream, and took another away. He used to be the only dream worth following. Juvia wondered if after he left her, she’d obtain another dream as beautiful as the first. She wondered if the next dream to come into her life would taste like fresh rain on her lips or make her pancakes on Saturday mornings or slip into the shower with her once in a while to wash her hair. She wondered if she would even have the courage to chase after another dream once her heart had been so thoroughly shattered.

 

Gray was still standing in front of her, wringing his hands nervously as she had a complete mental breakdown. He didn’t dare try to touch her after his first failed attempt at comforting her. “If you want, I’ll go… ” he spoke finally.

 

Juvia looked up, streaks of tears running down her cheeks. “No. You can’t just say something like that and leave.” she said, trying to keep her voice steady.

 

Gray gave her a look of surprise, sitting back down cautiously, a good distance away. They sat in awkward silence for a moment, both debating what to say next. Gray could not wait to just lie down and sleep forever. He was physically and emotionally exhausted, but he knew he couldn’t just leave Juvia in this state after he had made such a huge mess.

 

Juvia, on the other hand, was contemplating the status of their relationship. She felt hurt and betrayed and just the thought of her Gray laying hands on another woman made her blood boil. Suddenly, she didn’t want to be anywhere near her husband but at the same time she wanted to punch him in the face. Her self esteem had really improved since she and Gray started dating and, as much as her demons haunted her, she no longer felt sorry for herself all the time. She made friends who taught her how valuable she was and the level of respect she should have toward herself. One of the first people to show her how precious she was had been Gray, ironically.

 

“Have you done this before?” Juvia finally said, and she held her breath. It was a hard question to ask, but necessary in this situation.

 

“Had sex with another woman?” Gray asked, surprised. She nodded slightly, not trusting her voice. “O-of course not! I would never… I love you” he looked so hurt that she had even asked. The last bit warmed her heart, and she almost sighed in relief.

 

Juvia smiled a little. She felt a little bit lighter when he said that… it meant that there was still hope for them. It meant there was still love between them, if not trust. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to clear her head and focus on her decision. She couldn’t open them, not yet, not when Gray was looking at her so earnestly, waiting for an answer.

 

Her hands felt cold and clammy as she continued to take slow and steady breaths. It felt like her first time confessing to Gray way back when they were kids, so stupidly in love. It felt like she was giving him her heart all over again but everything was so much more terrifying. If he could break it once, he could easily do it again.

 

She opened her eyes, looking straight at him. “Pack your bags. You’re moving out.” Gray’s entire form crumbled in front of her, deflating like a balloon. He looked at her pleadingly, begging her for another chance with his eyes. His dark eyes filled with sorrow and remorse started looking misty again as he stood up, legs shaking. “Okay. If this is what you want.”

 

Juvia shook her head, letting out a dry laugh. “Juvia is not leaving you. She is sorry she gave you such an impression.” His eyes lit up again, relief seeping into his tired bones. “But you still have to move out, just for a few days so Juvia has time to think. She needs her space.”

 

Gray nodded in understanding, guilt mixing with the prior relief. “Okay okay… anything you need baby. I-- I’m so sorry” his voice cracked, thick with grief.

 

Juvia stood as well, wrapping her arms around him. He was cold, as usual, but it was comforting to be so close to him when she knew they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while now. His calming heartbeat gave her a sense of peace she knew she’d never get anywhere else. “We’ll figure this out okay? Juvia needs time, but, when she is ready, she will come back to you.”

 

“I will always come back to you” she said firmly, clarity in her blazing blue eyes. Gray smiled into her hair, letting his arms slip around her waist. They held each other, for a final time, before they let go.

 

Gray rushed to pack, afraid that if he took too long, he would never be able to leave. Juvia was grateful he was being quick because if he packed too slow, she might change her mind. They barely exchanged glances during the ordeal, but the connection felt stronger than moments ago when Juvia had been bawling her eyes out.

 

He texted Natsu, slung his backpack over his shoulder, and practically ran to the door. As the lock clicked and the door creaked open, Gray hesitated. He looked behind him to see Juvia smiling sadly in the doorway to the kitchen. She was wearing a simple strapless nightdress and the moonlight illuminated her pale skin. Her hair was slightly wet, dripping from her shower earlier. She had never looked more beautiful to him, just standing there, waving goodbye.

 

He smiled back at her saying, “Goodbye” and she whispered it back without wavering. Before she knew it, he was gone.

 

Finally, Juvia released a breath she didn’t know she had been holding, clutching her chest tightly. She fell to her knees, tears blurring her vision once more.

 

They would fix this, she knew it. Even though they had never been in a fight this serious, she knew they were stronger than this. There relationship was salvageable, the broken parts could be put back together, and one day, Juvia would trust him the way she used to.

 

She chose to believe that.  

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction so please be gentle!
> 
> ~Cookie


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